Our Evolution is Futile
I Lost Interest in Books
July 25, 2011Posted by on
I went to Borders yesterday, trying to buy books. The only book I was really interested in was a book of facts. I used to read a lot, but now I have lost interest for everything. Here is how I think every single book of their genre’s breakdown:
Action – The title is either not note-worthy or has a weapon on it. The plot is identical to a movie that has already been released, only the nouns are replaced.
Horror – Each ghost novel is a rip off of another. The same is true with zombies, vampires, werewolves, mass murderers, and eldritch monsters.
Romance – Half of the covers have shirtless men with muscles so mindbendingly large they look more like The Hulk than actual people. Half of these men have their eyes and head covered to avoid being identified, as not to shame themselves and their families. The other half are mostly couples, women alone, or something sterotypically romantic, like a wilting rose in the sunset. Ironically, the people who read these novels will never be as hot as the people on the novel’s covers. It is a little known fact that the plots are actually written by a coumputer, using an allogrithim to make the stories increasingly sappy.
Reference/History – So boring I’d rather watch paint dry. In fact, we did have paint drying the other day. Hmmm…
Fantasy – All modern day fantasy novels are actually based on IRL D&D Campaigns.
Sci-Fi – All modern day sci-fi novels are actually based on IRL D&D Campaigns, except nouns like “goblins, knights, and swords” are replaced with “aliens, spacemen, and laser guns.”
Manga – Unless your name is Bleach, One Piece, or Naruto, you are a fantasy story that takes place in a high school. The rest of the story is made of cliches so over used it is bordering fan fiction. There is a love interest…friends are hurt…magic and spirits…hanging out with friends for long periods of time…etc.
Oh well. At least the fact book is interesting.
Important note to self: If you ever reconsider reviving your hope in humanity, give up. I have tried once again, and they have failed. Not as miserably as other times, but still so.
I tried to form a bond ONCE AGAIN to no avail. I tried the chatroom where I used to go to, under a different name. I thought I was getting along fine, but then this happened.
This is an altered transcript:
L: .quote vibrator (gets quote on vibrators)
T: .quote T (gets quote on himself, about raping)
Me: .quote SHUT THE FUCK UP NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR UNFUNNY, SEX-DRIVEN, QUOTES THAT WOULD MAKE SETH MCFARLANE FACEPALM IN EMBARASSMENT!
Me: Huh. No results. Must be a glitch.
Mod: *polishes banhammer*
Me: Oh. You have a banhammer? I’m Sorry. I’M SORRY. i’m sorry.
K: Anybody tell you you are not funny?
Me: As opposed to…T:”I’m a dong as well”?
Me: .quote (I get a quote on rape, dicks, and two regulars)
Me: As opposed to rape and dicks?
T: .quote (gets quote on orgasms)
Me: As opposed to that?
Me: You should get my point. Nobody is funny here.
Mod: You don’t appretiate that brand of humor
Me: You don’t appretiate MY brand of humor!
T: Quotes show how fucked up we can get.
Mod: I think you are an annoying twat
Me: That is your opinion.
Mod: I never said you are a twat
Me: I never said you did, I said it was your opinion
K: If you stopped talking forever, things would improve.
Mod: You are being redundant.
K: for that matter, if you want to bitch about the sense of humour shared by a group of over a hundred people, its generally a smarter idea to do it elsewhere than to try and antagonise those people directly as if you come off as anything less than a total dick.
Me: You mad, bro?
Mod: Do I sense trolling?
K: no, but I am considering making a request of the ops, since persuading them to ban you shouldn’t be difficult in light of how you annoy everyone currently present.
Me: Oh no. I’m going to get banned. The horror. Whatever. not my fault I’m a negative person
L: Yes it is
K: Actually, it is
Me: So, you want me to phyiscally change my personality? (I think I meant really or completely)
T: Well, being negitive like this usualy doesn’t work in the internet
K: personality is not a physical attribute, its a mental one.
Me: I’m not going to change my persnoality, which I think is fine, just because other people disagree with it
L: (links to an article that says “Please be a giant dick so we can ban you”)
Me: I’m not preventing anyone from banning anyone.
K: we aren’t asking you to change your personality, leaving forever would be ok.
Me: You are getting pretty angry over one line of dialogue.
Mod: This is getting silly. Stop.
I didn’t get banned. But I am not going back. And these are people that actually share interests with me…yet lose their shit over me crtizing their lame jokes?
I really am alone in this world, aren’t I?