Our Evolution is Futile
Today, I got my bill for losing my Spanish II book. 70 dollars. 7o Dollars.
Can someone prove that that book is owrth 70 dollars? Anybody?
I also broke a gallon of milk while going down stares. It took a while to clean up and my parents had to get strict to get it done.
It really hurts when I fail. I think I kind of have a fear of failure.
I like to “troll” on Home. It sounds bad on my part, but I like to do so with a point. Observe:
Woman: God damn those bishes. BRB.
Me: Gotta wash the bishes. BRB.
Goth Chick: I need to attenend a funeral and wear a white dress. Bleh.
Me: I tried to go to a funeral naked, and my mom yelled at me.
Goth Chick: I am bisexual. I don’t know which sex I like more.
Me: How original: A bisexual goth.
Goth Chick: Most men are jerks. 😛
Me: All men are evil. Hitler was a man. Stalin was a man. Bush was a man. Ergo, all men are evil and women are perfect. This isn’t sexism.
Goth Chick: Excuse me, but stop following me.
Me: I just wanted to inform you that there is a guy stalking you!
Goth Chick: He is my best friend!
Me: What kind of friend is in it for the sex?
Goth: We live thousands of miles away!
Me: Uh huh. He’d still like you if you were fat. Yep.
I heard the other day that tax payer’s money was spent on building treadmills for shrimp. Thus, we should cut goverment spending, especially wasteful stuff.
Fair enough. But a lot of people have demanded for the goverment, but never really do it. More commonly, they say they want to “cut spending”. But by cut spending, they mean “cut spending, but not on the programs we like.” Republicans want to cut money from social security and health care, but will rarely even think about cutting military spending or ending tax cuts for the rich. The reverse is true for democrats, although democrats are less likely to endorce cutting spending.
I’m just saying it is a bit hypocritical.
Hell, I think the shrimp trendmill was worth it. Take a look at these videos!
Its better than spending a trillion dollars on wars that barely accomplishe anything…
Today on double standards and whining, taken from FML:
Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I’d finally get some action. I got a high five. FML (1007 likes, 297 dislikes)
Oh. My. God.
Three dates…and he still isn’t fucking you. The…HORROR! You dealt with him for one dinner, then a movie, and then you hang out with him…and for what? A high five? Not even a simple round of oral sex? How classless!
Hitler gave high fives to his girlfriend after his third date.
HUR DE DUR DUR. LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE CAN’T PLEASE HIS WOMAN! PUSSY! YOU NEVER DESERVE TO DRIVE AGAIN!
Never have I seen such a sorrier sight. Everything was going well until…he had a small cock.
How will our relationship survive?
I have no idea! I guess one can only hope…this will be tough…I think I might cry!