Misanthropy X

Our Evolution is Futile

The Long Post

Today, I got my bill for losing my Spanish II book. 70 dollars. 7o Dollars.

Can someone prove that that book is owrth 70 dollars? Anybody?

I also broke a gallon of milk while going down stares. It took a while to clean up and my parents had to get strict to get it done.

It really hurts when I fail. I think I kind of have a fear of failure.

~

I like to “troll” on Home. It sounds bad on my part, but I like to do so with a point. Observe:

Woman: God damn those bishes. BRB.

Me: Gotta wash the bishes. BRB.

~

Goth Chick: I need to attenend a funeral and wear a white dress. Bleh.

Me: I tried to go to a funeral naked, and my mom yelled at me.

~

Goth Chick: I am bisexual. I don’t know which sex I like more.

Me: How original: A bisexual goth.

Goth Chick: Most men are jerks. ūüėõ

Me: All men are evil. Hitler was a man. Stalin was a man. Bush was a man. Ergo, all men are evil and women are perfect. This isn’t sexism.

~

Goth Chick: Excuse me, but stop following me.

Me: I just wanted to inform you that there is a guy stalking you!

Goth Chick: He is my best friend!

Me: What kind of  friend is in it for the sex?

Goth: We live thousands of miles away!

Me: Uh huh. He’d still like you if you were fat. Yep.

~

I heard the other day that tax payer’s money was spent on building treadmills for shrimp. Thus, we should cut goverment spending, especially wasteful stuff.

Fair enough. But a lot of people have demanded for the goverment, but never really do it. More commonly, they say they want to “cut spending”. But by cut¬†spending, they mean¬†“cut spending, but not¬†on the programs we like.” Republicans want to¬†cut¬†¬†money from social security and health care, but¬†will rarely even think about cutting military spending or¬†ending tax cuts for the rich. The reverse is true for democrats, although democrats are¬†less likely to endorce cutting spending.

I’m just saying it is a bit hypocritical.

Hell, I think the shrimp trendmill was worth it. Take a look at these videos!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMO8Pyi3UpY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KskaUMuARR8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_1cyQBB38A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX2Ief4kjrI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnxsn8UQ4R0

Its better than spending a trillion dollars on¬†wars that barely accomplishe anything…

~

Today on double standards and whining, taken from FML:

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I’d finally get some action. I got a high five. FML¬†(1007 likes, 297 dislikes)

Oh. My. God.

Three dates…and he still isn’t fucking you. The…HORROR! You dealt with him for one dinner, then a movie, and then you hang out with him…and for what? A high five? Not even a simple round of oral sex? How classless!

Hitler gave high fives to his girlfriend after his third date.

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn’t give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML¬†(1271 likes, 24220 dislikes)

HUR DE DUR DUR. LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE CAN’T PLEASE HIS WOMAN! PUSSY! YOU NEVER DESERVE TO DRIVE AGAIN!

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML (48486 likes, 8573 dislikes)

Never have I seen such a sorrier sight. Everything was going well until…he had a small cock.

How will our relationship survive?

I have no idea! I guess one can only hope…this will be tough…I think I might cry!

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